Companions in Hope
From The Healing Center - Milwaukee, Wisconsin
thehealingcenter.org
To Those who follow in my footsteps:
Generated by Support Group members, who create a circle of honest, warm, nonjudgmental support.
Healing is:
Overcoming my fear of abandonment.
Generated by Support Group members, who are courageously working on all of these things.
When if feels overwhelming:
Generated by Support Group members, who find the courage to walk their healing paths.
No Healing Without Justice
Excerpt from FaithTrust Institute
by Rev. Marie M. Fortune
December 2001
"Tonight, I want to focus on this trauma at the hands of another person, not an enemy; to deconstruct it, engage it and address our responses to it. In my experience working with victims and survivors of sexual and domestic violence, I have seen that people suffer not only from the abuse they experience but also from the threat of meaninglessness that comes with it. The only thing worse than suffering is meaningless suffering. So people who experience the trauma of violence at the hand of another person, usually not a stranger or enemy, struggle to make meaning - and usually in a context of isolation, ostracism and moral ambiguity - if not moral condemnation and victim blaming."
Excerpts from Rebuilding the Garden: Healing the Spiritual Wounds of Childhood Sexual Assault
by Karen McLaren; Laughing Tree Press, 1997
(See Description on our Books page in The Library)
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In the broadest explanation, dissociation is an alteration in consciousness that occurs in response to extreme physical or emotional stimili. It is thought of as a protective mechanism, and ranges from the simple act of fainting in response to sudden or overwhelming sensations, to the complete splitting seen in people with multiple personality disorders (who, it is interesting to note, are almost exclusively survivors of childhood sexual trauma). Dissociation at this level is purely unconscious - it is a reaction that may help to insure survival in the face of uncertainty. Dissociation, though, can become a learned response, especially in unbearable physical and emotional stimuli are repeated.
Many therapies and meditation systems help people create mental sanctuaries, but we'll go one step further, and create this sanctuary within your body, within the present time, and within your actual life.
The room in your head is a private and unreachable place that does not depend on others or on physical surroundings for its peacefulness. It doesn't even require quiet or large blocks of time. It is a place where privacy is always available, and it is inside your body. The room in your head can help to anchor your consciousness in your body by giving you a focal place in which to center your attention.
A very common minimization is, "Well, I was never penetrated (or the molester was another child), so it wasn't that damaging." Minimizers are masters at what I call shallow intellectual healing; they talk a good life, ,but they don't live it. Minimizers appear healthier than chaotic people whose memories flood their daily lives, but both kinds of survivors are preciely as imbalanced and in need of some form of intervention.
After you feel comfortable in the room in your head, (which means you can stay in it for more than a few minutes, and that it is still there waiting for you when you leave and come back to it), try a rescue. Don't be afraid. The assault is not happening to the present-day you. The assault is just a vivid memory in your mind; from within your room, you are all-powerful. You get to say what happens from inside your head.
How You Can Help Survivors:
An Abbreviated List By Survivor Belinda Martinez
See other tips on our Your Health page.
More related information can be found on our Understanding Abuse page.
If you would like to contribute something to this page, please mail or email your information to:
Companions in Hope
P. O. Box 638
Geneva, Illinois 60134
mail@companionsinhope.com
Thank you for your interest and participation.